


a cryptid and a ghost walk into a bar

by UniversalSatan



Category: Buzzfeed - Fandom, Buzzfeed Unsolved
Genre: Find Out What Really Happened To Brent, M/M, Shane's house is 'haunted', Sleepovers, alien!shane, and ryans a lil dumb about his new friend, tiny crime au for a covenant project religion 35 summer school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-11-17 09:53:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11273079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniversalSatan/pseuds/UniversalSatan
Summary: I was prompted a ficlet on my BBU tumblr sideblogunsolvedbsand became really invested in it/was asked if I was going to post it anywhere else, so this became a thing. I guess I'll be posting any prompts here and other mini oneshots I write.People are welcome to prompt ficlets whether it's somehow throughWattpad, AO3, or throughmy tumblrs.





	1. A Haunting Where Least Expected

**Author's Note:**

> Shyan prompt: Shane's dog starts barking, Ryan is convinced there's a spirit in his house. [(via rr-amen on Tumblr) ](https://unsolvedbs.tumblr.com/post/162112157512/shyan-prompt-shanes-dog-starts-barking-ryan-is)

Ryan was sure that this time, he had _definitely_ found a ghost. And of course, it would be nowhere else other than his skeptic coworker Shane Madej's house. He was determined to investigate it, despite being recently terrified of the environment he had previously found rather calming than haunting. This investigation would also entail a night camped out and fully prepared for anything that may come at him. 

Shane, on the other hand, definitely did not think there was a spirit in his house. In fact, he was actually more certain than ever as to why it wasn't. And yet he kept his stupid little mouth closed, because he found this whole situation rather amusing.

Their night out together had gone relatively well with nothing out of the ordinary. Just them together with a few beers, snacks, and a movie, curled up on Shane's couch.

That is, of course, until Ryan heard it almost directly behind him.

The animalistic whine sounded as if whatever thing had made it was right beside him, and made goosebumps run up and down his arms.

"Uh... Shane?" Ryan was frozen, hand rigid in his popcorn bowl, "Did you hear that? Please tell me you fucking heard that." Shane glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and looked back at the television, trying not to give himself away by laughing.

"Er, no, I don't think I did. Going a bit coo-ky in the head? The movie finally getting to you?" He bit his lip to stop a wave of mischievous laughter. Shane wondered how long this could keep up.

"No, I swear to god I heard something, look, I'm recording it on my phone again just in case- _FUCK_." Ryan had almost dumped his popcorn bowl across the living room carpet as he stood up suddenly, running on the other side of the coffee table from the sofa. He was in full panic mode: face filled with terror and limbs ready to book it out of the room if the spirit made another move. "You have to have heard it that time, or you're full of shit, Shane Madej."

"I think I did hear-" Ryan nodded at him, for Shane only to continue to say, "the couch springs shift a bit. Wow, it's not like it's an old couch or anything." Ryan seemed to be at a loss of what to say.

"You're so full of shit, Shane Madej."

"Maybe your little spirit just wants to watch Star Wars IV _\- a classic I may add -_ with us; hang out with us boys."

"Stop joking about this, I swear I'm going to piss myself. We're not supposed to be recording right now."

"I'm sure I have a few more beers in the fridge. Sharing is caring."

"Jesus man. Look, I have it on voice memos. I'll take a closer look at the audio and everything."

"So there's a spirit in my house now?" Shane couldn't help a small smirk as he watched Ryan glance nervously around the room.

"Yes, and I swear it must have fucking brushed across my ankle too as I was leaving, for good measure."

"Wow, such definite evidence that you have conveniently forgot about up until this moment."

"Shut up, Shane," he narrowed his eyes at his friend, "I was so spooked I only concentrated on the audio because it would be the only thing you'd believe since I have the actual evidence."

"Well now that I guess my house is haunted-"

"Shit, by any chance do you have a camera here?"

"No."

Ryan scratched his head, sitting down slowly on the floor: "I guess I'll just have to use my phone camera then... I hope it's good enough."

"Well if we're going to have a self-invited sleepover then..."

"Hey! I'm going to help you with your spirit problem!" he defended.

"Alright... _help_ with my little problem... then I'll get some sleeping necessities... you want to go all out, right?"

"This is serious business!"

"Alright, alright. Set up the blanket fort then, scaredy pants. I'll find the flashlights and sleeping bags."

"Don't leave me with it for too long - it's in this room, I know it."

"I have a strange feeling it isn't anymore," Shane murmured, laughing as soon as he stepped out of the room. 

Once he came back with everything he needed, Ryan was sitting crosslegged under a half-assed blanket fort, listening intently to his earbuds.

"I swear it's a groan or something," Ryan shook his head, muttering to himself.

"You can show it to me tomorrow," Shane stated as he rolled out the sleeping bags, "For now, I want to get a good night's rest for once."

"I can't believe you're not more freaked out about this." They both climbed in their sleeping bags, Ryan ready to capture any more evidence and the Star Wars Episode IV long forgotten on the sleeping TV.

"You know, I'm finally somewhere comfortable where I can sleep in my very own bed, and yet here I am, sleeping on my living room floor."

"Shut up."

"Sweet dreams."

About 20 minutes passed without anything happening, other than either of the two occasionally shifting in their positions. Shane could hear that Ryan's breaths were beginning to become steadier, only to pick up when there was even the slightest noise in the distance.

Just when Ryan was starting to lay down completely, a dog started barking from across the house. Ryan visibly flinched, and subconsciously jerked closer towards Shane. Shane shifted a little bit, searching Ryan for what he was possibly going to take out of what had just happened.

"What the fuck, dude. You heard that, didn't you?"

"Mhm."

"What kind of a... you don't even have a dog... do you..." Shane made a rather noncommittal noise that could be taken either way, yet Ryan obviously took it as a no. "What the fuck, dude..."

"Go to sleep," Shane murmured. As tempting as watching Ryan overreact would be, he was already starting to get a bit sleepy.

"Hey... Shane?"

"... Yeah?"

"What if it's a werewolf?"

Shane rolled over to muffle his face in the sleeping bag fabric. Ryan sounded so genuine, almost as if they were sharing middle school secrets at an all girls sleepover. His whole body was shaking his tired self so much that even Ryan took notice of it.

"What?" he pouted, shoving Shane a bit, "You believe in bigfoot. Aren't werewolves kind of the same?"

"No? How?"

"They're both... furry creatures?"

"Are you saying they're both furries?"

"Maybe they are. Do you only believe in furries?"

"I guess I do only believe in furries." They both caught each other's eyes for a few moments before bursting into soft giggles, rolling around in the limited confines of their pillow fort. "Seriously though, go to sleep."

"... I'm leaving a sleep audio recorder thing on in case anything happens."

"Whatever floats your boat."

They lapsed into silence once again, actually starting to fall asleep for real this time. Of course, that would not be the case, as Shane was rudely jolted out of his half-slumber to Ryan backed up as far as he could against him.

"What the hell?" Ryan pointed to the blanket on his side of the fort. It was moving rhythmically, as if someone was pushing it with a set frequency. It also sounded like there was something breathing on the other side.

Whatever it was stopped suddenly, and began moving away, closer to where the entrance of their blanket fort was. Ryan started freaking out, and buried himself into his own sleeping bag, as if hiding from the situation would help him avoid it. Shane watched the creature advance towards them, and struggled to keep quiet himself.

"Oh my god I can't believe this is actually happening oh my god oh my god holy shit I'm too young to die..." Ryan started rambling, "Shane help me oH GOD SHANE FUCK IT'S ON ME WHAT THE FUCK IT'S ON ME IT'S CUTTING OF THE CIRCULATION IN MY LEG IS THIS WHAT POSSESSION FEELS LIKE _SHANE_." He stopped, interrupted by Shane's growing and obnoxious laughter. Shane was gone, losing it and growing short of breath as Ryan writhed in terror in his sleeping bag.

Curious as to why his friend was not panicking as he was, Ryan slowly peeked out to see a small dog eagerly greeting the two of them, wagging its tail quickly and wriggling up to meet them.

"Oh my god... Shane? _Shane?_ I sWEAR TO GOD YOU ARE GOING TO _DIE_ TONIGHT," Ryan burst in frustration, gradually coming to a realization. He punched Shane's arms and back as he rolled around wheezing, the dog getting between them to join the fun. "Why the _fuck_ did you say you didn't have a dog?"

"I... did... not..." Shane managed between breaths, "Got... her... recently..."

"You know what..." Ryan checked the stitched collar on the dog's neck, "... Lacey... you're the innocent one in all of this. _Someone_ here has been a dickhead the entire night." Lacey began licking him in greeting, sitting down so that she was cuddled up between the two friends.

"You have to admit that was pretty funny."

"I really hate you, you know."

Nevertheless, the three slept peacefully for the rest of the night, exhausted from all the excitement that had happened that evening. Whether or not there really was a spirit in Shane's house, however, they would never know, as Ryan would eventually forget about the 'evidence' he had collected only for it to be lost in the countless other unnamed voice memos piled up in his phone.

The only thing that came out of that night was the picture of Lacey and Shane sleeping and Ryan with his eyes half open in the blanket fort together, saved as his homescreen for a long period of time as a vague memory.


	2. What Really Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: the real reason brent left buzzfeed unsolved. was it bc of shane? bc of ryan? or bc of his feelings for both? [(via stcrryskies on tumblr)](https://unsolvedbs.tumblr.com/post/162331132007/prompt-the-real-reason-brent-left-buzzfeed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually (really short) a normal ficlet length but I don’t know what I’m doing anymore what is this (I also wrote most of this at 5am in the morning without sleeping so) (what has the cah game done to us).

One day, Brent was editing a Buzzfeed Unsolved video with Ryan. And the next, he was gone. Immediately in his place was none other than Shane Madej; or so he had self proclaimed.

Brent, in reality, had actually claimed a sick day due to feeling slightly under the weather as he went home from work the previous night. The office, however, somehow had a few different theories as to what could have happened to him. Brent was well aware of the situation, as Shane had texted him to speak not a word of it to Ryan. Confused and slightly intimidated, Brent had agreed.

Once he returned to the office, he was immediately assigned a project away from the main office, his appearance remaining a mystery to others. It was disappointing not being able to see Ryan Bergara again: his cute little laugh or his insistent little remarks. Any time Brent would try to even peek at him, somehow Shane would always be in the vicinity to pull Ryan’s attention away.

To be honest though, agitating Shane like this started to become more amusing and exhilarating as time went on. 

This became daily fun for Brent; trying to get closer to Ryan, and in the process teasing Shane as well. Ryan was unfortunately the only one left out of the fun, and seeing Shane constantly growing closer to him was pretty frustrating. Sometimes he would see Shane glance at him out of the corner of his eye, and then he would know that he was doing this on purpose. 

It’s tough when you lose both of your chances at the same time.

As time crept on and Ryan was still relatively oblivious to Brent’s disappearance, Brent’s thoughts and feelings were gradually becoming too out of control to simply be played with by Shane on a daily basis. His fun would have to slowly come to an end. 

Slowly but surely, Brent became not a mystery but soon enough a myth within Buzzfeed Unsolved, and it was only Shane who had known what had _really happened._


	3. covenant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so umm explanation? in religion 35 summer school we had to do a project to make a covenant with like a creative au behind it andddd whelp guess who used a shyan au for that,,,, lmao. i gotta present tomorrow (rather today its midnight right now) so yeah
> 
> characters are eugene (try guys), ryan and shane in case of any confusion

The room was dark and of minimal decoration, as the only light source was emitting from on top of mahogany desk near the back wall. Only three people occupied the room, yet all were very aware of the armed men guarding the door just outside. Apparently, that's just how important this ridiculous document was.

    Sitting behind the desk was a man on an expensive plush chair - almost as if it was a throne, demonstrating his hierarchy above anyone else. It was almost as if there should have been a princely crown resting atop his perfectly curled hair. His face and attitude displayed no emotion, matching the formality of his neatly pressed suit and tie. His hand was the only thing moving in the entire room, the ink pen scratching on the paper amplified by being the sole source of noise present.

    On one end of the room stood a man in a similar suit, his black hair slicked back formally to match. Everyone in the room was well aware of the concealed firearms underneath his jacket, yet he had no need to even think of using them, as the environment did not present any danger. His face was illuminated by the light on the desk, yet the rest of him was wrapped in darkness, hardly making him visible at all.

    The final person standing on the other side of the room was about the same, except for his almost out-of-place attire. Rimmed glasses, a flowery tourist shirt, and some cargo shorts almost seemed to not exist within the criminal world. Luckily, all of his work was done behind screens, and his sole weapon rested within his mind and quick wit.

    Each simultaneously glancing at each other in the corner of their sights, the freelancers grinned mischievously.

    The leader of this criminal organization finally dropped his pen and looked up slowly, watching the two with a hint of exhaustion.

    "You both know any further exhibition of this kind of behaviour will only hinder our advances to greatness," he spoke carefully, intimidating enough that it would have scared anyone else other than these two freelancers. These two, however, were a different case.

    In an attempt to break into the Pentagon for important papers containing evidence of a First Contact, the two freelancers butted heads trying to enter at the same time. The mercenary was meant to break in smoothly and efficiently under the supervision of the leader, yet encountered the hacker once well inside. The hacker was not there in person, yet still was quite present on passing comms and cameras. The two interfered with each other, teasing and blocking each other's way, therefore causing the mercenary a risky early departure and the hacker a hasty wipe of his trail within the Pentagon's database. This greatly delayed the case, and in fact even if slightly increased the security within the facility. The leader who had hired the mercenary ended up finding and hiring the said hacker, and somehow managed to bring him from behind a screen into that room at present time.

    "Your oath?" The leader beckoned both of them forward, and they both advanced, handing over a USB from the hacker and a sealed envelope from the mercenary. The leader nodded for them to continue, and they each took a pin from the desk, pricking their fingers and wiping the blood on each others' items. "The deal is physically sealed. Please sign the covenant before you."

    The hacker stepped forewords first, taking the pen and leaning over the leader's shoulder to sign the document. He glanced up at the mercenary, receiving a mutual smirk before letting the ink soak to the paper.

[document](https://unsolvedbs.tumblr.com/post/162854188792/buzzfeed-unsolved-ficlet-prompts-covenant)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crappily done document via document link cause my handwriting is SHIT anyways but yeah to be fair its also midnight) (god if i could only redo their printing


	4. popcorn sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan finds a handsome friend outside
> 
> ryan may also be a lil dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhh i promised [jesus-said-chill via tumblr](https://jesus-said-chill.tumblr.com/post/165200154183/fic-writers-i-have-a-request-if-anyone-has-time)  
> that i'd make a cute alien fic and it is a bit late but whelp
> 
> i also have no idea what was going through my head while i wrote this i apologize (it was supposed to be 100% cute but my plot filled ass decided i wanted to put a lil bit of interesting backstory lmfao)
> 
> ((also this is slightly more shyan than gen))
> 
> **Edit:[ive reposted the story here and will probably continue it in the summer when i have time, so please feel free to check it out (I will not be posting further chapters in this prompt collections)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13343040)**

Ryan preferred not to believe in things that went bump in the night, but all of those beliefs went out of the window when there was a worrying crash right outside his room. At 2 in the morning, no less.

He had actually been fast asleep, but the loud snaps of branches forced him wide awake. Bigger than a bird, definitely, but what else could have possibly crashed through the tree outside? Peter Pan was fictional (he thought, at least), and it wasn't even Santa's time of year.

There was a good 10 minutes where Ryan refused to do anything. He lay snuggled in his blankets, heart racing as his mind wandered to the potential serial killer that had just fallen off of his roof. There was the temptation given that he might die and not have to worry about work or taxes or stupid adult things like that, but he cared about his little life more than he would actually give credit for.

Finally deciding to get up and investigate (admittedly after a mental countdown and repetitive reassurance that nothing bad would happen), Ryan went over to his window and heaved the damn old thing open. The windchill hit him like a bus - especially considering the only cloth covering his body was an old t-shirt and some boxers.

Nevermind that though; there was something more important that he had to pay attention to.

Outside, nothing seemed unusual except for the fact that a bunch of the large oak tree's branches had broken, seeming to have given way to something else. Eerily enough, whatever had fallen through the tree had vanished from the scene at this point.

Ryan slammed the window shut.

_No,_  he decided,  _I guess I really do_ _n't_ _want to get murdered tonight after all._

Yawning, he padded to his kitchen, going to make some sort of midnight snack. He was too awake to go back to sleep right away, and a good mug of warm milk usually cured that. That, and remembering how cozy his comforter was compared to the chilly tiles on the kitchen floor.

Because it was the middle of the night and everything was 110% scarier than it was during the day (and the fact that Ryan lived alone), he turned on ALL of the lights, leaving that nighttime aesthetic outside of his home. Just in case, he took his mug and went to the front of his house, almost sprinting to go close the curtains in case there was something...  _there_.

Luckily, there wasn't actually anything right up against the glass. There was, however,  _unfortunately_ , a figure lying face-down on his sidewalk just in front of his yard. Ryan stared at it for a few seconds before shutting the curtains to get it out of his sight.

_Yep, not tonight,_  he thought warily,  _Maybe I'll just wake up tomorrow morning and everything will be fine and normal and okay._

Ryan's logical side began creeping up on him finally, reminding him that he could be leaving someone to die on his sidewalk. Yes, there was a possibility that they were a murderer, but wasn't it much more possible that it was someone who needed his help? And what was keeping Ryan from going to help them? Him being a weenie to any shadow or house creak?  _No sir_ _,_ _not Ryan Bergara._

Pushing back any more fears and dangers of going to help someone passed out on his sidewalk, he armed himself with his phone, an umbrella (the best safety measure he could come up with in 1 minute and 25 seconds), and his bedroom slippers. Taking a deep breath, he unbolted his front door and slid outside.

The figure still hadn't moved from where he had seen it, and almost seemed to not be breathing at all.  _Just what I needed_ , Ryan thought,  _To be a suspect in a murder case_. Still, he pressed on, shaky steps becoming slightly more confident as he approached the heap of clothes.

Everything was reduced to a bundle of nerves again when the figure unexpectedly sat up. Ryan had jumped back about a foot away, holding the umbrella out in front of him defensively.

The...  _man_ sat straight up, as if he was never lying on the ground in the first place. He didn't seem...  _abnormal_ , minus the weird baseball cap with comical alien antennae on it. The person was wearing a jean jacket, black pants, and relatively nicely styled hair - as if he had just been at some semi-casual night out. He was also rather ruggedly handsome. Ryan still had no clue as to why this man was lying face down on his sidewalk at 2 in the morning.

The man's attention snapped to Ryan, causing him to tense his grip around the umbrella handle. He hadn't said anything yet, which really put Ryan on edge.

"Are... are you alright?" Ryan offered, trying to lower his umbrella to seem like he was actually pretty friendly if you got to know him a little better. He forced out a smile.

"What year is it," the man deadpanned, voice wavering as if it couldn't choose a pitch.

"Uhhh... 2017?"

"Oh." His voice settled. "Thank you." He lay back down on the ground.

"Excuse me? Sir? You can't just lie on the ground like that. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm very tired, if you would just excuse me."

"I'm sorry, but you really cannot just sleep in the middle of my sidewalk at this time of night. Any time, really."

"I really am very tired though. Transforming takes a lot of effort." Still, the man propped himself up a bit to speak with Ryan. "It's tiring when you  _people_ don't understand this."

"Alright, alright, tired, I got it," Ryan sighed, dropping his umbrella in favor of rubbing his eyes, "Look, buddy: I'm tired too, and I just want to go back into bed and sleep."

"Bed? Sleep?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, it's been a long time since I've done this."

"Done-... you know what, forget this. I'll probably get murdered, but you sleeping on my couch is a lot more efficient than me fighting with you here. As long as you promise to skedaddle in the morning." Ryan held out his hand to the strange man, offering to help him up. The man stared back quizzically before accepting the offer. Ryan barely had enough in him to be shocked at the strange man's height once he actually stood up. "I suppose I should ask you for your name before I offer you into my house."

"My name?"

"Yeah. I'm Ryan Bergara."

"Oh...  _that thing_...  _what was it last time?_   _Oh yeah_  - Shane Madej. Most people just call me Shane."

"Alright Sasquatch-"

"I just said my name's Shane-"

"And I gave you a  _nickname_... because you're so  _tall_. God, what planet are you from?"

"Thuxunope."

Ryan blanked at Shane, not quite sure how to respond. Shane had answered with a concerningly large amount of concentration and accurate pronunciation for whatever gibberish he was spewing, so Ryan decided to leave the subject.

"Whatever man. I have no fucking clue what you're talking about."

"Ryan..."

"Yes?"

"Why are you letting me into your house so easily?"  _Now Shane was starting to sound like a normal and sane human being._

"Hmm, well..." Ryan thought as he reopened his front door, "I guess something about you radiates trust? None of that currently makes sense to me, as literally everything you've done so far should be making me closer to calling the police... but  _here we are_."

"That's reassuring."

"Hey, I'm saying I trust you. I'll only be partially angry if you murder me in my sleep."

"Partially?"

Ryan shrugged: "I'll just come back to haunt you. Probably more fun than dealing with frustrating clients all day."

"Is your job actually that horrible?"

" _Dude_... I'm over-exaggerating. I have no idea why I'm bringing you in my house, so just sit down on the damn couch before I change my mind." Ryan locked the front door, leaving Shane behind him to go put away his stuff and rummage through his kitchen again.

"This seems a lot more different since I've been here," Shane commented suddenly, somehow already behind Ryan. He was inspecting Ryan's kitchen with foreign interest. "You have instant heaters now! That must be nice."

"The... the  _microwave_?" Ryan gazed at him, bewildered as Shane gently opened and closed the microwave's door.

"Is that what this is called? I must take note." To Ryan's utmost amusement, Shane pulled his sleeve back to reveal what looked like an Apple Watch, quickly typing in something before putting it away again.

"You said you were here before... were you a tenant of this house before me? Childhood home, perhaps?"

"Not at all. I told you: I'm from Thuxunope."

"Uhh... sure. What did you mean by being here before, then?"

"I haven't done a planet run for almost a century now." Shane stopped talking abruptly to check his watch again, frowning briefly before putting it away. "I keep on forgetting I'm not supposed to be telling you anything. Pardon me, my mouth keeps on slipping."

"Look, I'm just going to make another cup of instant noodles for you if you want, and then just go back to bed. Are you fine sleeping on the couch with the blanket there?"

"Sleep?" Shane glanced over at the worn and well-loved couch in the corner of the living room by the TV. "Ah, yes, I'd love to rest on that. Looks more comfortable than they used to be. Boy, a lot happens here in a century."

"Okay... well... I hope instant noodles are the upgrade of a century," Ryan huffed. He couldn't tell whether Shane was being sarcastic or serious at  _all_. A handsome stranger that was hard to read logically would sound suspicious, and Ryan couldn't believe he probably just invited a serial killer into his home with open arms.

"Thank you so much, Ryan," Shane beamed, leaning back on the counter and taking his baseball cap off. Ryan took one glance at his head before turning back to the noodles to blatantly ignore Shane.

The baseball cap came off his head. The antennae did  _not_. And yet there stood Shane with some stupidly goofy grin across his face, as if he knew what he was doing when he slid his antennae through the cap's holes. Ryan was too tired for this. He made a mental note to never accept food from his coworkers ever again - no matter how tempting brownies and other pastries seemed.

"One cup of instant noodles, coming right up," Ryan announced, bringing both his and Shane's to the dinky kitchen table he had. Shane sat down and began eating his share without any issue.  _Well, at least he could eat noodles normally._

"Wow, so simple and quick to prepare yet so nutritionally unbalanced," Shane observed as he slurped some of the broth. Ryan wheezed. Perhaps it was the absurdity of the situation and the fact that it was so early in the morning that it seemed funny.

"That's the only logical thing I've heard you say this entire morning."

"What are you talking about? Everything I've said tonight has been completely factual."

The meal was peaceful. It was utterly informal, but eating instant noodles with a handsome stranger at your kitchen table in the middle of the night had some sort of strange magic to it. Ryan had to admit that Shane wasn't an eyesore to look at either, and was rather entertaining to look at. What better a setting to fall unrealistically in a love that was actually just magnified by the situation the two were currently placed in?

After all, Shane's hair was mussed up so cutely, making Ryan want to impulsively mess it up even more. And his stubble: barely there but enough that you would definitely be able to feel it if you brushed your fingertips against his cheek. And his bright purple eyes...  _what the fuck._  Was this loser wearing contacts too?  _What a dork._

"I'm already so grateful for your hospitality tonight, Ryan, but I need your help once more before I leave tomorrow..." Shane paused to slurp a noodle, "I need help bringing my pod down from your roof. I think that's where I accidentally landed... I'm not so sure what happened after I fell in a tree."

" _What the fuck._ "

"Yeah, sorry about all the hassle, but I really want to try and get out of your hair as soon as possible. Now that I remember how to function here like a civilian, I'll do fine on my own..."

Ryan set his fork down on the table and clasped his hands together, holding his face between his pointer fingers and thumbs. "You know, there really is only so much bullshit I can take, Shane Madej."

"What? I'm being completely serious here."

"Yeah, and I'm an alien-"

"Wait, are you one too?"

" _What_."

"What." Shane blinked for probably the first time he was with Ryan, cocking his head and trying to figure out if he had said something wrong. The apparently only human being present rubbed his temples. Hopefully he wouldn't get a headache out of all of this.

"Okay, so... I know I said you emit some sort of...  _trust_ aura... but what the fuck am I supposed to think when you outright try and claim that you're an  _alien_?"

"It makes sense that you wouldn't believe me... don't know why I thought otherwise," Shane murmured under his breath.

"Like,  _yeah! I believe in aliens!_ " Ryan continued to talk to himself, suddenly waving his hands around wildly, "But? Not like  _this_. The coloured eyes?  _Contacts_. The antennae? Yeah right..."

"If you're really that desperate to not believe me, can you wait until after you help me get my pod?"

"...  _Fine_. You said the roof, right? I think I have a ladder somewhere. Thank god this place only has one floor."

"It  _is_ a bit cramped..."

"Shut up, googly-eyes. You said a  _pod_. At least I have a  _house_."

"Googly-eyes? That one doesn't even make sense this time."

"Yeah. You're an alien, aren't you?"

"I'd like to tell you as a matter of fact, we do  _not_  have googly-eyes."

"Who knows? You said ' _transform_ ' earlier."

"Okay, but that's because my species has become efficient at shapeshifting."

"So what's your true form then?"

Shane stopped suddenly, stood up and hands splayed out on the table. He glanced away, avoiding eye contact. "I... I've already spoken a lot. They've already told me I've been sharing too much information."

"But..." Ryan stopped immediately once Shane glared daggers at him. Holding his hands up in the air, he moved to go put away his empty instant noodle cup. "Sorry, I won't press any further. We're strangers, after all, aren't we?" Shane relaxed a bit, looking a bit shameful.

"Are you sure you'll be warm enough with those?" Shane was now pointing at Ryan's attire. He glanced down, only now realizing that he was still only in his t-shirt and boxers the entire time. With the quick realization that he'd been with Mr. Handsome-Piece-Of-Alien-Ass this entire time dressed like that, he turned away to go to his room quickly and ignore his obnoxious heartbeat.

"Okay, Smarty-pants-"

"I'm getting confused now... don't humans usually get very few nicknames?"

"...Anyways, I'll just change into something slightly warmer. Just wait outside for me, will ya?"

They each went their own separate ways, Ryan taking his time away from Shane to his advantage to think freely. He found some pyjama pants and a hoodie and began putting them on, trying to process how Shane changed over their meal.

Shane was a bit weird - he was supposedly an alien, after all - but his entire mood had changed when he was talking about the rest of his kind. Especially about 'transforming'. It was definitely none of his business anyhow, and it wouldn't do him any good to get involved.

_Whatever_ , Ryan thought as he pulled his hoodie on,  _Once Shane has his pod back he'll probably just fly out of my life as he apparently entered it._

He met Shane right beside his bedroom window, who was waiting for him with the ladder. It was cute how he seemed to be waiting for Ryan's permission to go onto his roof. He beamed at him and motioned for him to go ahead.

This must have been some sort of feverish dream. Ryan was completely willing to shrug and let Shane admit he was crazy when there was no 'pod' on his roof, and they would both relax on his roof together and watch the stars. Ryan almost even dared to say that he was actually  _hoping_ that would happen. Nevertheless, there was, in fact, some weird sort of white 'pod' stationed on his roof.

Ryan wouldn't necessarily call it a pod. If anything, it was more like another thicker chimney on his roof, with a door on its side. It was a wonder how a giant like Shane would ever fit in it, but Ryan sat back and watched Shane inspect his spacecraft. 

"I guess I must have rolled out somehow and fell off your roof."

"Thanks for the past weather report, Sasquatch. How the hell did you roll out?"

Shane shrugged: "It was a bit rough and tumbley in there. I must have just lost my balance."

"You seem like you would have been very cramped in there though."

"I'd say it's a bit more spacious than your place though."

"Haha, very funny, Madej."

As Shane continued to inspect the outside of his pod, Ryan sat down cross-legged on the roof tiles. The night sky itself was charming, as the sky luckily happened to be clear. The stars twinkled happily when Ryan's eyes focused enough, almost as if they were winking back down to the two of them. Shane himself wasn't too bad to watch either, even if he wasn't doing much.

"You want to watch the stars?" Shane interrupted Ryan's train of thought, grabbing all of his attention.

"What?"

"You seem to want to."

"... How could you tell?"

Shane flicked his antennae: "These can pick up basic brainwave signals of certain species."

'Wait, you can  _read people's minds?_   _Fuck_ , could you hear everything I've been thinking?"

He laughed: "No, I said  _basic_. And even so, none of it is comprehensible. You just keep on staring at the stars."

"Ah, oh... that... haha," Ryan trailed off awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck, "I suppose. I just thought it was funny -  _I mean, if you haven't already read my thoughts_ \- that when I used to go stargazing, I'd think about all the possible life out there... and now... it's right here in front of me." Shane was looking at him fondly, which honestly made Ryan's heart flutter in his chest  _just a little bit_.

"Well, I can always give you a premium front-row-seating ticket if you'd like."

"To... what? Stargazing?"

"Yeah. I have a spaceship right in front of your nose, idiot."

"No offence but I really don't think it's going to fit the two of us."

"I promise it's fine; it's just a bit bigger than it looks. Plus - do you really mind?"

_Did Ryan mind?_  Being squished enough that he'd probably have to be embraced by Shane, and completely filled with his scent and warmth and touch and to be able to hug back... It was extremely tempting, avoiding the logical side of Ryan's brain.

"No... not really. I guess this could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, wouldn't it."

"Only if you want it to be," Shane smirked. Ryan took pity on his poor heart to get up and go towards the pod rather than process what Shane's words could mean.  _Which one was currently sounding more appealing: space, or more quality time with the mysterious Shane Madej?_  The question was becoming more and more difficult to answer.

There was a hand offered, which Ryan took gladly, being escorted into the cozy pod. Or... at least it looked like that from the outside.

Ryan was expecting a small dark space where his back would be pressed up against the wall even without Shane in the pod. It truly was some sort of magical Narnia moment when he realized his steps weren't being stopped as he moved further away from the door. The room was still completely dark, so Ryan definitely looked like an idiot when the lights were turned on, his arms waving out stupidly in front of him.

There was an entire lounge in this spaceship. It was way too big to be even classified as a pod, considering the millions of panels and buttons, and the seating area with what seemed to be a kitchen/bar. To top it all off, it was decorated as if it were a luxurious hotel room you'd have to pay $1000 to even breathe the air in it. When Ryan turned around, it was probably the hardest to process that all of this belonged to Shane, considering his attire and rough features. All lanky limbs and alien antennae was standing by the door still, pushing a few buttons near him that was turning the entire ship on.

"Sorry about it... it's a bit cramped because of my job ranking, but I tried to decorate it a bit and make it seem nicer..."

"What the fuck Shane, what kind of a job do you have?"

"Creature scientist," he grinned.  _Creature... oh._

"That's rude, not only to the entire human race but  _myself_ -"

"And you're cute."

"Y-yeah! That's... I'm not..." he fumbled over his words. "... Do you have a washroom in here?"

"Door over there." Shane was pointing to a solitary door beside the bar.

"You have all of this but only one other room?"

"Yeah."

"I suppose the washroom is essential but don't you need anything else on this?"

"That isn't just a washroom. It's whatever the fuck I need it to be. I even got a pool once."

"Um... see, I'm already having a hard time grasping your mention of 'transforming', but I don't know how much more I can logically wrap my head around-"

"Don't worry, you're doing fine, Ryan. I'm already surprised you haven't said anything about it looking bigger on the inside."

He shrugged: "It wouldn't have progressed my understanding or this conversation other than for your amusement of me making an idiot out of myself. Honestly, I'd almost even call this a show rip-off if you said the inside was infinite or some bullshit like that."

"The inside is infinite."

" _Okay_ ,-"

"I'm kidding. We're not that advanced yet as a species. Just hurry up and use the washroom while I pick somewhere to go."

When Ryan got back, Shane was already immersed in the plethora of screens, running between each and typing out strings of commands. Ryan decided to sit back on one of the comfy lounge love-seats, watching the alien rub his chin frustratedly as he waited for something to load. It was actually quite endearing to watch Shane go about his business.

"Got it," he proclaimed suddenly, slamming his hands onto the controls. "Hey, Ryan, come over here." Ryan obeyed, directed by Shane's pointed finger at a screen.

"What did you find?"

"You said stars... right? Was there anything specific you wanted to see?"

"Uh... I'm not that big of a space nerd..." Ryan barely remembered his constellations, much less the foreign script written across everything. There were some diagrams too, but none of those helped his understanding in the least.

"Well... if I remember correctly... I think your species calls it Przybylski's Star? That was very beautiful. It has traces of different nuclear elements, and really paints the area quite nicely."

"Is that even safe?"

"... We're traveling through space. Sorry to admit this if you didn't already know, but humans are pretty fragile. Nothing we're doing right now would pass any human safety inspection."

"Touche. Alright. I'm up for it."

"Right then. Off we go." He unceremoniously slammed down a button with the palm of his hand, his spacecraft suddenly whirring to life in response. Ryan gripped what he could of the control panel to balance himself as Shane laughed with glee. So far Shane almost seemed to be more excited about their little trip more than Ryan was at the moment.

"I will be home in time for the morning... right?" Ryan asked, "I still have to go to work."

"Yeah. This gal's fast. We can be gone and back in 10 minutes if you'd like."

"... I'd rather stay a bit longer."

"You can also come back here any time you want," Shane winked. Ryan didn't say anything back, biting his lip as he contemplated how to react. "You can get something to eat or drink too if you'd like. The fridge works about the same way as the door. We're almost there anyways."

He left Shane to go find something, perhaps for the two of them to share. The real question now was what would go well with  _stars_. Perhaps something romantic, or something tasteful. Ryan rummaged through the stock he had available to him, trying to decide on anything.

"Door's open," Shane announced from the other side of the ship, alerting Ryan of their new setting outside. Ryan didn't check what was outside the door yet, as he was still trying to decide what to bring to Shane.

"I can't decide between popcorn and wine."

"Hm? Just bring both."

"Yeah, but they don't usually compliment each other."

"This isn't a luxury restaurant-"

" _It sure looks like one._ "

"-But it isn't. You can choose what you want once you come here. Come on, it really is magnificent."

Sighing, Ryan struggled to grab everything and juggling it all to where Shane was at the door. He really had to catch himself and not drop anything when he caught sight of what was outside. Setting everything aside carefully on the surface nearest to him, he almost tripped over his own feet trying to get to the edge of the pod.

Space itself was nothing like the stunning pictures anything had been able to take of it. There was obviously some sort artificial atmosphere around the door, but even being able to see the vacuum of space was insane. That, and the billions upon billions of stars dotted across every possible visible scape. The colours of the weirdly-placed elements added to this magical experience, giving the area a different kind of glow than it would have otherwise. The fact that Ryan was able to experience all of this without any sort of restricting space suit was breathtaking. 

"Charming little spot, isn't it?" Shane had come up from behind, pouring some of the wine into glasses. "You can sit on the edge if you like. I like to swing my legs underneath the pod. Just try your best not to fall off."

"Now I don't want to do it even more. I'll die instantly if I fall off, won't I?"

"Not necessarily."

"That's not reassuring at all, Shane."

"There is a little bit of protection from the atmosphere around the pod. The gravity is made to bring you back to the ship, if you're within the artificial atmosphere. Here, take this." He was handed the glass of wine.

"I still don't really want to sit. It feels safer in here."

"Would you feel safer if you were holding on to me?"

"... Yeah, I would."

Crouching, they set down their glasses by their feet. Ryan held on to Shane's arm as if his life depended on it (which, to be fair, it almost did). Shane let him sit slowly, assisting him any way he could. Once Ryan let his legs dangle from the side of the pod, they loosened their grips and grabbed their drinks again.

"Do you mind if I hold on to you just a bit longer? Until I get comfortable," Ryan mumbled, scooting closer to the alien.

"I'd be honoured." 

Ryan looped his arm around Shane's arm and leaned up against his shoulder. They cheered quietly, the clink of the glass resounding strangely in the space they were in.

"This is pretty good," Shane commented, taking another sip.

"Argentinian Malbec. I'm not a wine fanatic, but I rather like this one."

"Hmm, I think I do too. So... does the popcorn work with it?"

Ryan grabbed a handful of the snack. "I don't know. Popcorn is probably my favourite food in the entire universe though, so I don't know how much that will change my opinion."

"The entire universe?"

"The universe is going to have to step up its game if it finds anything as tasty and snackable as popcorn."

Shane paused: "I'll have to agree with you there."

"Even aliens love popcorn?"

"Of course. It wasn't quite as everywhere as it is now, but I did like my fair share the last time I was back on Earth. I think I was even in the city where popcorn was created."

"Chicago?"

"Yeah. I think it was around the 1920s. Not popcorn being invented;  when I was there."

"The 20s? That must have been pretty cool."

"Not really. Humans were pretty brutal back then. Not so bad as before that, though."

"Huh. I think it'd be pretty cool to go back in time though."

"It gets pretty intense if you study it."

"I guess. Wait... but that's almost a century. Does your species time travel?"

"No. We haven't advanced that much yet."

"Wow... you must be pretty old then, haha. How old are you, grandpa?"

"That's rude. I'm not telling you."

"I'm not trying to shame you," Ryan frowned, "I think it's pretty cool. Seriously, dude, how old are you?"

"... I- I don't remember, to be honest." Shane was trying to chuckle it off a bit.

"Wait, really?"

"At least a few star centuries but..."

"Do you really forget about things that easily?" 

Shane didn't answer him at all this time. He sipped from his wine, staring bleakly out at the stars.  _Yeah,_  Ryan thought regrettably,  _I probably accidentally hit a sensitive spot_. Instead, he snaked his arm further, lacing his fingers with Shane's. Shane's attention snapped back to him, staring at him quizzically.

"It's a human gesture for affection and reassurance."

"Yeah, I know, but why-"

"I dunno. You just... seemed a bit more distant when I asked about that. Even aliens need comfort, don't they?"

Shane squeezed Ryan's hand: "You're the alien to me here. And anyways, why are we talking about popcorn out  _here_?"

"Well... all the stars kind of look like tiny popcorn kernals-"

"You're ridiculous."

"Imagine if we had that much popcorn though! We'd never be able to finish it. Infinite popcorn."

"You'd get tired of it."

"And you wouldn't?"

"I've been alive for so long, it's hard to get tired of something that's only been around for such a short while."

"Hmm. Hey, I really don't want to pry any further, but... you said earlier... something about transforming..."

Shane sighed: "That? I already told you, I've told you more than I should have ever told you about us."

"Shane."

"Yeah?"

"We're literally holding hands in the middle of space sipping wine like some sort of posh romantics."

"... I  _forgot_."

"Forgot what?"

"Forgot what we used to look like."

"What...  _you_ looked like?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Some-... Once my species figured out we could transform, we abused the ability so much that we cannot remember what we originally looked like aymore. Very few of us know, since we now already start to transform before birth."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. It happened way before my generation. I suppose that would be way before you humans really came into existence."

"Oh. Well... I like this human version of you."

"It's different than it was on my other trips."

"Yeah, but this is  _my_ version of Shane Madej."

"... I suppose." Ryan would've thought he was indifferent to his statement by the tone of his voice, but Shane's thumb rubbed against his hand affectionately.

"It must be nice getting to sit out here and have enough space for all of your noodle limbs."

"Hey, I only miscalculated just a little bit..."

"Oh my god, you were just a miscalculation?"

"Don't phrase it like that."

" _My_ miscalculation...-"

"God, you're horrible, did you know that?"

"You know, I really  _do_ like your presence - but only when I don't have to look at you and see your tacky alien antennae and purple contacts."

"I regret bringing you here."

"Hey, do you know what would be really cool?"

"What?"

"A black hole."

"Let me wholeheartedly assure you that black holes are completely not cool at all." Ryan leaned further against Shane, almost as if he was pressing his argument into him. "Fine, we can maybe  _pass_ one on our way back. I cannot guarantee you the safety of doing that, though."

"Hey, Shane?"

"Yeah?"

"You've hinted it earlier, but... does this not have to be the last time we do this together?"

"What, you don't want me to ' _skedaddle_ ' as soon as it's morning anymore?" Shane teased.

" _Shane_..."

"... I might be able to pull some strings."

"Thanks." Ryan relaxed completely, lazily watching some rock bounce off the pod's atmosphere and continue in the opposite direction. He let his head settle on Shane's shoulder, dozing off slightly. "It's so peaceful here. There's no sound or pollution or anything."

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah. Life is tiring."

"We can go back now if you want."

"No. We still have a few hours. I want to stay here."

"... Okay."

"Do you like me being here?"

"Yeah, I do. You're the most intriguing alien I've ever met."

"Ditto."

The two sat there for  _hours_. To Ryan, it felt short considering how tired he was, and how comfortable and content he was being with Shane. To Shane, a few Earth hours felt like only a few seconds in time: slipping away faster than he would have ever liked.

Shane had to eventually carry a sleeping Ryan back onto a couch inside. Smiling, he brushed some loose hair out of the human's face, dragging his fingers down his cheek after he tucked the few strands behind his ear. Turning back, Shane went back to the control panels and set the coordinates for Ryan's house.

_Perhaps good things came to Shane after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Edit:[ive reposted the story here and will probably continue it in the summer when i have time, so please feel free to check it out (I will not be posting further chapters in this prompt collections)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13343040)**
> 
> i m a ho for snuggling
> 
> yeah so i actually want to write a more serious alien!shane fic at some point now (whether it's a continuation of this idk)??? if any of you guys watch anime (haikyuu!!), the kind of fic i'd want for The Bois would be a bit like [it's lonely on jupiter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543506/chapters/7800470)  
> (probably one of my fave fics of all time)
> 
> buuuut i gotta finish mercy first lol
> 
> i just realized i made this a bit like doctor who wh why is my middle school past creeping up on me tf


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